Marketing or Manipulation?
The Dark Side of the Influencer Economy
This morning, over a coffee and a breaky wrap, I felt something I haven’t felt in a long time while observing the industry I’ve dedicated my career to, absolute heartbreak.
I watched a young family, mum, dad, toddler and a puppy, at the table next to me in my local café. It should’ve been a wholesome scene. But what unfolded made my stomach churn.
The woman - loud, commanding, and emotionally aggressive - was berating her husband about content strategy. Not in a collaborative, loving way. In a condescending, patronising, business-meets-bullying way.
I heard her say things like:
“People don’t want to hear about ‘how to find yourself’ anymore darling, they want: ‘my wife rolled her eyes at me for the 100th time, here’s how to fix it quickly.’”
“This is marketing darling. You’re a shop. If this café owner didn’t have a menu, would he sell anything? No, of course not. Learn to sell correctly.”
“You need to tell them all your darkest feelings darling.”
She spoke about multi-million-dollar industries, the coaches doing it well, who he needed to market to, “even the single men because they’ve made all of the same mistakes as you in their past relationships”.
He smiled. He hugged her. He nodded, all while she belittled him bloody loudly out in public and in front of their toddler. And all in the name of influencer marketing.
It was heartbreaking. And it was disgusting. I scoffed at half of the dribble that exited her mouth and I also had to stop myself from approaching her to say, “can you stop talking to your husband so disgustingly?”. This was greed at its finest. Profiteering off peoples vulnerabilities, opening her families private lives to the world in order to sell, sell, sell.
And it’s the product of a culture we - yes, we marketers - have helped create.
This isn’t marketing, it’s emotional abuse, dressed as content
Marketing Isn’t the Villain. But Sometimes It Feels Like It.
I’ve worked on the biggest brands in the world. I’ve been in rooms where influencer campaigns were born. And I’ve felt that icky feeling of inauthenticity creeping in.
That moment when you pay someone to pretend to love your product. When you're told to chase reach, not realness.
And yes, I’ve pushed back. Often. Because even though marketing is about psychology and persuasion, it's also about integrity. At least it bloody well should be.
The Promise & Peril of Influencers
Influencers are not inherently bad. In fact, when done right, they’re brilliant. Here are three undeniable benefits of using influencers:
Reach & Relatability: They have access to niche, hard-to-reach audiences in authentic ways traditional advertising can't match.
Content Creation: Great influencers are also great storytellers. They bring your product to life in ways that resonate.
Trust Leverage: Their followers trust them, and that trust, when genuine, can translate into sales and brand loyalty.
But there are risks too:
Brand Misalignment: One slip-up outside the contract window and your brand is tied to controversy.
Authenticity Gap: If they’re clearly faking it for a cheque, consumers feel it. And they’ll distrust your brand for it.
Emotional Exploitation: When influencers prey on human insecurity, selling dreams they haven’t achieved themselves, they become manipulative, not aspirational.
The Rise of Couple Influencers
There’s a particularly dangerous niche within influencer marketing: relationship gurus. Couple influencers selling the ‘dream life’ often while living a nightmare.
What I witnessed today was not a healthy couple. It was a woman using her husband’s vulnerabilities as content fuel. A toddler watching it all, absorbing emotional dynamics that will shape how he sees love, power, and gender.
If you’re a couple considering becoming influencers, here’s the uncomfortable truth:
You can’t sell a relationship dream you haven’t actually achieved.
You cannot teach others how to love when your own relationship is built on control.
You are not doing marketing, you’re monetising manipulation.
How to Be an Ethical Family or Couple Influencer
If you're genuinely considering building a brand around your family or relationship, here are 5 essential principles to protect your audience, your children, and your relationship:
Start With Self-Awareness
Don’t hit record until you’ve done the work offline. Therapy. Communication. Trust-building. Be in a good place before you claim to guide others.Protect Your Children’s Autonomy
Your kids aren’t your content. Their lives aren’t stories for clicks. Be their parent first, content creator second, always.Establish Boundaries
Create rules for what is and isn’t for public consumption. Your partner’s vulnerabilities and your private fights shouldn’t be clickbait.Stay in Integrity
Only promote what you use and love. Only sell what you believe in. If it feels icky, then it is.Be Prepared to Walk Away
If content creation starts damaging your connection, your child’s mental health, or your sense of self, pull the plug. Your family’s well-being is worth more than followers and your get-rich-quick scam.
Let’s Not Sell Ourselves Out
Marketing at its best is art. It’s connection. It’s a story. But at its worst, it becomes a distortion of truth and in this influencer age, we’re seeing too much of the latter.
We owe it to ourselves, as marketers, creators, parents, and human beings, to raise the bar.
Not all relationships are worth selling.
Not all stories should be shared.
Not every click is worth the cost.
Let’s create content that uplifts, educates, and inspires.
Let’s be honest. Let’s be human.
Let’s stop marketing the dream if we’re living a lie.